President Trump’s Muslim-Targeted Travel Ban: The Daily Show


Let’s get
into tonight’s show, and the start of week two of the Donald Trump Presidency. TV REPORTER:Chaotic scenes
erupting at airports
around the world.TV REPORTER:Protests all
across the country.
TV REPORTER:Denounce President
Trump’s temporary ban
on travelers from seven
mostly Muslim countries.
TV REPORTER:Lawyers descending
on airports.
TV REPORTER:
Chaos and confusion.
Is this the America that
we believe in? CROWD:
No! -Is this liberty?
-CROWD: No! Do you understand how insane
this is? People in the airport
were pissed, and it’s not because
they’re at the airport. Welcome to Trump’s America. That’s how bad “The Donald” is. No matter how bad
the situation you’re in, Donald Trump can always
make it worse. Like, there could be people
trapped in an earthquake and still they’d be going,
“Ah, ah. “I can’t believe Donald Trump’s
new policies. (yells) That guy was the lucky one.” (laughter) It’s official, people, this weekend, Trump signed
an executive order putting his so-called Muslim ban
in to effect. And I know most of you already
know what’s in it, but just for the one person who
doesn’t understand it fully, let’s take the time to explain
what the ban means. -Hey, Donald.
-♪ ♪ I know you don’t actually write or read
any of those boring papers, so let me explain to you
what you did. You banned everyone
from seven Muslim countries from entering the United States. Even though you said your ban was to protect America
from outside threats, that ban included people
with green cards. It even seemed to include
dual citizens of Canada or Britain, or any other country
you didn’t plan to ban, you silly billy. Now go back to watching CNN. Go back, go back, go back,
go back. By the way,
this is just real quick. This guy who was banned
from the U.K., his name is Zahawi, all right? And he was a politician who,
in the U.K., used to tweet about Brexit. And he was like,
“We need our country back. We need to protect our borders,
Brexit.” And then this weekend,
he was like, “America won’t let me in
because I’m a foreigner. “How can Donald Trump do this?” Hmm? Comes around, baby.
Comes around. (cheers and applause) Now, now because Donald Trump
put this thing together with all the consideration
of a drunken Vegas wedding, it’s no surprise that it ended
with devastated families. TV REPORTER:Families
separated for hours,
including this 5-year-old boy.TV REPORTER:The Cleveland
clinic doctor,
she was forced to leave,
even though she holds
an H-1B Visa for workers
in specialty occupations.
TV REPORTER:Hameed Darweesh
is a 53-year-old Iraqi.
He had helped the U.S. militaryfor ten years in Iraq
as an interpreter.
TV REPORTER:Fuad Sharef and his
family, Iraqi refugees,
planned to make their move
to the U.S. yesterday,
his family given the visa,
because he risked his life
working with
the U.S. government.
I don’t know what to do
because I sold my house. I quit my job. Now, if ever there’s a story
of being screwed over, it’s this. A man risked his
and his family’s life to help America’s efforts
in Iraq, and now he’s being turned away? He can’t go home. He sold his house. He quit his job. And also, ’cause anyone
going out like that, you know he burned a few bridges
on the way out. Like, no one’s leaving Iraq coming to America
without making a show. He was probably like, “Malik.
Who’s going to America? “Not you. Boom. Who’s out? I’m out.” (humming “The Star
Spangled Banner”) “I’m out of here.” He can’t go back. Now, one of the advantages
of being president is that you get to decide
foreign policy without consulting anyone.
I understand that’s a perk. But only a Trump administration
would fail to inform itself as to what was going on. Sources told
our Homeland Security reporter that senior-level officials
at DHS did not have meaningful warning
of the details. Homeland Security scrambled
to understand and enforce it. John McCain and Lindsey Graham
say they’re caught off guard. Exclusion of General Mattis. No guidance provided to Customs
and Border Protection. What kind of a slapdash,
arts-and-crafts administration are these fools running?
Think about it, even the border officials,
even the border officials didn’t understand the ban. They had to enforce it,
and they didn’t understand it. They were probably asking
the refugees to help them. They’re just like, “Hey,
do-do you know what this means? Do you know what it means?”
And the guy was like, “Uh, yeah, “I think it means
you should be sending me back even though
I have correct paperwork.” “I just… I know it sound… It
just feels a little draconian. I don’t want
to seem like an asshole.” “Hey, don’t worry.
We all have jobs, my friend. “Your job, your job is
to enforce an irrational ban. “My job is to go home and die. Huh? We all have jobs.” Now, if you’re wondering
where President Trump was when airports around the country
were in chaos… Right now, on the schedule
for the president, he is hosting a family screening
ofFinding Doryin the White House theater. “Shh! “Don’t disturb me! “I don’t care what’s happening
at the airports. “I’m watching a movie
about families being separated! It’s hilarious! Shut up!” Who is this man?
And, by the way, who hasn’t watched
Finding Dory
yet?! It’s 2017! This man is not fit
to be president! -Not fit!
-(cheering and applause) (exhales) To comment on President Trump’s
immigration bla… ban, please welcome Hasan Minhaj,
everybody! (cheering and applause) I’m sorry, Hasan.
I’m just… I’m… Like, right now,
I can’t even talk. I can’t even imagine what it’s
like to all of a sudden have the United States label Muslims
as inherently threatening, man. (chuckles)
I’m not surprised. You know, in the past,
America has had lots of issues with Muslims and immigration. You know, President Carter
banned Iranians, Bush built a registry
of immigrants from 24 Muslim countries, Obama suspended refugees
from Iraq. But Trump is taking this thing
to a whole new level. I mean, those other presidents
were just dipping their toes in the pool. Now Trump
straight-up did a cannonball and then felt up the lifeguard. And, by the way, shout-outs
to all my Republican friends who promised me
Trump would never do this. I don’t think any of the people
who are screaming at the top of their lungs thinks
for a moment that, uh, that is a literal… uh, that a literal
interpretation would be Muslims. That’s not a real proposal.
It’s not… it’s not something
that’s going to happen. I don’t think you can take
a lot of that seriously. He’s not gonna ban all Muslims. What the (bleep)? So wearegetting banned? Well, Hasan, Hasan, technically, technically, uh,
you’re a citizen, so this ban doesn’t affect you. Yet! We’re on day 11, man! That’s it! Where do you think
this is gonna go?! It’s like watching the first
episode ofBreaking Badthinking, “Oh, it’s just
a science teacher cooking meth. It can’t get any crazier.” But it does. Well, Has-Hasan,
now-now, jokes aside– and this is…
this is completely true– -you actually flew into JFK
Airport this weekend, -I was. uh, as Trump’s executive order
was being implemented. That is correct.
And I was scared -that I wouldn’t be allowed
back in. -Wow. Where-where were you flying in
from? Were you flying from Iran, Iraq or Syria or…? Sacramento, California, the Syria of the West. (laughing):
I mean… No. I mean…
No, jokes aside though. On-on the real,
on the real though, like, you’re a Muslim person.
You’re seeing this happening, You must really hate
President Trump right now. Well, actually, Trevor,
I’m not sure. Nah, ’cause, usually, being
a Muslim in an airport sucks, but, this weekend,
it was like I wastheWeeknd. I mean, I land at JFK, I get…
I get to the arrivals section. Literally, three white people
run up to me, hug me, and say,
“Thank you for being Muslim.” I’m 31 years old. That’s the first time anyone has
thanked me for being Muslim. And-and what did you…
what did you say to them? I said what any Muslim would say
to them in that situation. “Do you know
where Baggage Claim 5 is?” But how can I hate Trump
right now? H-How do you do it? Just look at
what he’s done at the airport. White women were turning
their scarves into hijabs. Muslims were publicly praying, and people
were cheering them on! Do you understand?
Muslims publicly praying at the airport! Think about how crazy this is! -(cheering and applause)
-Because of Donald Trump, people were being nice
at the airport! Here’s the beautiful irony. For years,
Donald Trump has been terrified about the spread of Islam
in America. Well, congratulations,
Mr. President. -Mission accomplished.
-(laughter)

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