Dreams of Flight


Excuse me.
Excuse me, sir? I need some water.
It’s for my pills. They’re anti-anxiety pills. I’m afraid of
flying! Excuse me. Excuse me, sir?
My seat isn’t reclining. Can you fix that?
Excuse me! I specifically chose not to be sat next to
fat people. And I never got my Sprite!
Bitch. Excuse me, can you help me get my back up?
Um, can you help me? Can you. Excuse me?
This always fits normally. It goes right in. Hey! Excuse me. My family isn’t sitting together
and we’d like to be. We’re actually in the middle rows but we want
to have an aisle to ourselves. Do you have like a fire exit row with a lot
of legroom. Excuse me. Sir.
This is a dirty diaper. My baby’s dirty diaper. Can you get rid of that?
I need you to get rid of that. Put that in you hand right now.
Just throw it away. I need it out of here. It smells really terrible.
You know I’ve seen this plane before on the news.
And unless Captain Sully Sullenberger is at the helm, then we should leave.
It’s starting to stink. I can tell somebody was sitting in my chair
before me. The person sitting next to me is very fat.
Can you make a person skinnier? I think the air in here is a little…
(everyone shouting at once) This is Royal Skies Airlines calling with
your next work assignment. You will work from New York LaGuardia to West
Palm Beach Florida at nine A.M. Thank you. Goodbye.

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